I haven't been working too hard on my stand up routine lately and that may just because I've been busy with summer. Actually, that isn't really much of an excuse because I should be writing more. Generally, I'm working harder at being humorous in conversation almost to the point where I am probably forcing it.
I'm mostly trying to seem humorous in conversation because I do online dating and I find that humor seems to be my most charming aspect. I'm not exactly a closer with the ladies but the humor seems to always get me a second date. Anyways, I'm trying to be funnier in conversation and at first it seems sort of weird.
I'm naturally a funny person from what I've been told and I think that is one part because I'm quiet and awkward and just sort of say random things that pop into my head at precise moments. However, me trying to force being funny has also made it so I just talk and talk to the point where I feel like I am overwhelming the conversation.
At first I feel really unnatural but as I get going it just seems like I can't stop. Perhaps that will be my stand up secret. I will just use my talking as a blunt object to hit an audience over the head with it. I won't stop till something works.
Either way this post isn't really a joke but rather an insight and self-reflection of me as a person. When I reflect on my humor I sometimes feel guilty because I feel like I'm misogynistic, slightly racist and a little homophobic.
Of course I'm not any of those things but a feminist friend said that's who I am and that's why I'm funny. Controversial topics are funny to me especially really dark topics of abuse and sexuality. I keep thinking that this is going to creep women out but for some reason I keep meeting women whose souls appear to be almost as black as my own and are sincerely laughing by the end of the date.
In my head I've been trained to think of women as ladies, mostly by my mother, so I sometimes forget they can be as sick (sometimes more so) and depraved as a man. I can't really ever nut up and just go for exactly what I want, but find I can skirt around a topic with humor and talk some mad nonsense.
Their is some charm in a sick sense of humor but unfortunately I'm not the sick person I talk about being. I'm not the type of person who gets off on fisting videos and bestiality no matter how funny it is for conversation.
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