little penis

I am not a cocky guy... in fact I would say I am the opposite of cocky. I'm the sort of guy who is self-deprecating and has just enough hatred towards himself that I figured I'd come up here to talk to you tonight and try to get booed off stage... o.k. no one is booing.... I guess I'm still doing alright.

So, I have some friends who are cocky and they are the type of guys that like to talk about how big their cock is. Now I've heard the argument that having a big cock really doesn't mean anything when it comes to the bedroom... shit I've heard that it kind of hurts and is uncomfortable... but I wouldn't know I haven't taken any large cocks into my body lately.


Anyways, whether these friends have big meaty sausage dicks or not I really don't know. I'm the honest guy though. I let the ladies know precisely what they are working with before we ever get to the bedroom.

I like to warn people that my dick is really small. Like hmm I would say almost microscopic... some people would almost say it is inverted. Thats where the penis is going into the body instead of out of it. You might be saying to yourself " well isn't that just a vagina?" No, its not I have the birth certificate to prove my gender.

Anyways, I tell the ladies that they really shouldn't expect any pleasure. In fact they'll hardly notice I'm there. I'm a big fan of vibrators for that matter because there is always this guilt I have after I fuck someone. The real bad part is not only is my penis teeny tiny but I'm a premature ejaculator. Before I even begin the sex is already over.

The load of cum I shoot is so small that its like I mild sneeze across the backside of whoever I'm with.

Ok so I have question for the people in the audience. Who here watches porn? Now, has anyone here ever watched Japanese porn?

Ok I feel small in comparison to those guys. They have big monster cocks even though I know the stereotype is that Asian's have little penises. However, for me I make a newborn look huge.

Either way, I thought about moving to Japan once and getting into the porn scene there. All their porn blurs and censors the dick but... I think they would maybe make an exception for me. Can't be sure though.

Anyways, I am totally off topic here but yeah. I'm super honest and I like to tell women that it is almost guaranteed that having sex with me will be just awful. So if there are any desperate women in the audience who find any of what I just said interesting and attractive feel free to get a hold of me later.