I grew up reading the Harry Potter books and wouldn't say I'm a huge fan, but they were a fun read. I remember when the first book came out– I was just a little kid at the time. When the last book came out I was in my 20s so I literally grew up with these books.
Probably like a lot of people I want another series of books set in this world. I want a series of books about Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny all grown up and not only are they grown ups, but grown ups who ffffuuuccckkk (sleazy voice).
How about when they are in their early to mid-twenties when they are that college age and just looking to get their rocks off. No more Voldemort just sexually frustrated wizard and witches trying to survive the single's scene.
I know, I know Ron and Hermione and Harry and Ginny end up together in the end of the series, but surely there were those rocky moments in their relationships. You know when they were quote "taking a break" or "exploring themselves."
In my mind Harry is an arrogant jock frat-boy who is a borderline rapist. He uses his magic to get him pussy whether by impressing girls with a little light show from the tip of his wand to simply forcing himself upon women like Kolbe Bryant or the Duke Lacrosse Team. Harry's been practicing memory charms and just like his past professor, Gilderoy Lockhart he makes people forget... forget that scum bag Harry Potter, savior to the world, got you so drunk that you couldn't help but say yes to going home with him.
Hermione the bookish nerd is finally done with school and now can let her inner freak out. She goes clubbing four out of seven nights a week getting drunk and dancing. When she isn't flirting it up on Tinder or sleeping with Horse Cock a.k.a. Victor Krum, a.k.a her friends with benefits she is getting herself off using her wand which also happens to double as a high powered vibrator.
Ron the useless side-kick to Harry Potter now out of college has more direction then his two best friends. Always good at taking a beating he beefs up and begins a career as an X-games athlete. Embracing his inner daredevil he goes on to become the face for Monster Energy Drinks and becomes the only one of his friends to not rely on magic for some sort of sexual favor or stimulation.
After Harry and Ginny separate she can't deal with the loss. With the thoughts of her dead brother Fred still in the back of her head and the recent separation with the love of her life and weird memories of sexual abuse from her uncle lingering in the back of her head she develops a substance abuse problem and eventually moves to Los Angeles, CA to work in the Adult Entertainment industry. Using her skills as a witch to numb the pain of anal sex and 15-inch coke bottle dicks that are common in that industry she goes on to film a 1001 films becoming one of the most prolific performers in the industry. A 7-times AVN winner her most recent win comes from a bit of fellatio she performed while hanging upside down from a flying broom.
Eventually, the hard partying lifestyle of their early-to-mid-twenties catch up with the four heroic spell casters. Harry now suffering from genital herpes once again finds love in Ginny who after receiving bad botox has partially paralyzed the left side of her face causing her to leave the porn industry since there is no fetish for stroke victims.
Hermione abandons the club scene after she is diagnosed with fatty-liver disease and a failing kidney due to her chronic alcohol abuse. A few short months later the jaundiced yellow skin is beginning to clear and she decides to call her former boyfriend Ron Weasley who despite the multitude of wealth he has achieved flipping motorcycles for crowds of white trash motocross fans is constantly in pain from the broken bones in his wrist, ankles and a torn ACL in his left knee causing him to retire early.
So yeah if I was J.K. Rowling my follow up to the series would make the main characters a bunch of miserable fuck-ups unsure of the future and with no clue on how to be a functioning adult.
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